It's been awhile...

I haven't gotten a chance to do much blogging lately, so I figured while I have a second today, I should make a new post!

Things around here are hectic since Charlie left for Afghanistan. I'm trying to handle things by myself, but it can be very difficult. He left in March, 1 week after Ian was born, and then came back for about a month and left again recently. So I've been alone pretty much for 2011. It's definitely been a hard year for me so far, but I'm getting use to things. I've been trying to stay positive about things, and not worry about other things if I don't really have to.

Both of the boys are doing great. Peyton started school this year and he absolutely loves it! He loves everything about it and can't get enough! Ian is doing so well at everything he tries. He's almost sitting up on his own, but he is almost crawling as well. He gets so upset and frustrated because he wants to get around himself, but he is almost there. He also is eating baby food, and people are always telling me how chunky he is, but I just like to think of it as 'healthy' lol. He has been keeping up with doctor's appointments and his heart appointments, and he has a healthy heart and is over-all a happy baby.

My biggest problem is dealing with myself. Everyone needs to work on self improvement I believe, so I just need to start and get it done. I've realized I don't have many people there for me anymore. And I don't mean to sound whiney, but I already know people go their seperate ways as they get older. I do have people there for emotional support, and mainly it's family and a few friends, but I need to learn that even though I may not even talk to anyone for an entire week, I can't get myself down. I need to realize that I'm just trying to get through this time alone until my husband comes back. It's a very, very lonely place, and I know a lot of women know what I'm talking about when their husband's leave. I'm trying to stay positive, and work on myself. I'm hoping to figure out things I like to do, such as hobbies, and although I'm always busy with the kids, I need to learn ways to keep myself busy doing things that I enjoy too. It needs to get done or else I'll be a pretty sad person for the next year.

Anyway, that's my goal for the next year. To just help my kids grow and learn, to be happy, and kind. To make myself happy as well, and not to rely on others to help make me feel happy. I do have a lot of good stuff going for me and my family, so I just need to be thankful for what we have...especially for being happy and healthy.

Happy Memorial Day!

I'm so thankful that today was such a beautiful day. It was at least 90 degrees for most of the day, and me and the boys took full advantage of that! Peyton and I played basketball in the yard while Ian slept in his swing on the porch. I can't wait until Ian gets bigger so we can all play together. Right now he's kind of just a lump on a log lol. My sweet little baby boy is turning into a chunky boy! I will have to weigh him some time soon. I'm sure he weighs 20 pounds...okay, not that much, but it feels like it haha.

After we hung out at home in the yard, we went over to my dad's for some dinner. He grilled out and made some burgers and hot dogs. We had potato salad, cheesy potatoes, asparagus, and I can't remember what else. I think my memory is going bad..and I'll just blame that on my children for driving me insane lol!

Well, I've been cleaning all day so that I don't have to come home from my vacation to a messy house. I got the rest of my packing done. The boys are packed up, and now I have all of my stuff done. I had some issues with my rental car today so I might just ride around with Charlie's parents when I get there. Oh well, it'll save me a little bit of money. It really puts a damper on your day when something as big as renting a car falls through, but oh well. Nothing can rain on my parade because I am going to see my husband! It's been months now, and I can't wait!

We took our tubby's and showers...and played a little bit. Ian layed in his crib naked so that he could dry off and get some cool air to his body because he was so hot all day! He layed in his crib and stared at his mobile. He loves to listen to it and watch it go around and around.

Then I asked Peyton to let me get a picture of him, but he kept running around Ian's room and laughing, sooo this is the best I could get lol!

What a great day with my sweet baby boys! Happy Memorial Day to everyone :).

One more day!

"Peyton Charles, I love you to Heaven". "Mama, I love you to the mall". LOL I guess it's not as far as Heaven, but I'll take it haha.

I'm going to miss my babies so much when I go on my 5 day vaca...it sure won't feel like a vacation when I don't have my precious little ones with me :(. Maybe I'll come back well rested and have more patience for my boys. We'll see. I have patience..but it's Peyton that can cause me to go insane lol! I'm sure once Ian gets to his age, he'll push my buttons too haha.

I had a really nice day today. I got a phone call from Charlie telling me happy anniversary, and then I went to my grandma and grandpa's for turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and corn on the cob. It was a nice dinner. We came home, hung out, cleaned, and packed. Now we're watching River Monsters! Peyton was eating some popcorn and dropped the popcorn and my bowl on the floor. The bowl broke and popcorn went everywhere! What a mess! Then he told me that he hid a popcorn kernel under one of my pillows in my room. Lol..one little kernel. Took me forever to find, but I did it!

Tomorrow is my last day home before I go see Charlie, and I'm getting excited!

So blah!

Well, I got to talk to Charlie tonight for a little bit. He's getting excited for me and his family to come down and see him. It's kind of settling in that I'm leaving for Oklahoma here in a few days, and I don't know what I feel. I'm happy to see him..and that's all I'm happy for lol. I do NOT want to go down with the bad weather, and I do NOT want to leave my children. I'm so distraught over being away from my babies while I'm gone :(. I've already started being upset and even cried a few nights thinking that I could leave and have something happen to me. Just thinking about not coming home to my precious boys makes me sick to my stomach. I know I shouldn't worry so much, but I do. I think that everything bad could happen to me. My plane could crash, I could get killed by a tornado, or something else, I'm sure I'll think of more things as Tuesday comes closer lol! :( :( :( I'm having really bad anxiety over this whole thing. I don't even like leaving them just because I NEED to be with them every second of every day. I just want to cry. I'll probably cry at night when I'm alone in my hotel room without my babies too. Okay...enough of this lol but I'm NOT looking forward to leaving them.

Another things that's annoying, I was in a size 3 before I had Ian..and now I'm into a size 5 or 7. It's not even like I gained any weight, but it's like my hips just keep getting wider lol. They got wide after I had Peyton, but now they're wider after I had Ian. I'm tiny with big hips. Not good..and I don't fit into any pants well. I'm just really frustrated right now. No, a 5 or 7 isn't big, but it's different from where I was, which means I can't fit into anything I already have. Sooo irritating! Oh, and I need a tan lol.

I'm just hoping the boys will sleep well tonight, and maybe go to bed early. I'm so emotional over nothing it seems like, but I need to go to bed. It's just one of those days, I think. It just seems like things just keep repeating themselves, good and bad, but nothing exciting ever happens. It's just a daily thing of the same ole stuff. I love how bright my children make every day for me, but you get what I'm saying!

So tired!

I can't believe how cool it was here in Muskegon today. It's like we have really hot days, and then cold days like today. I had to run to the grocery store and get some groceries today, and it rained on the way there, but thank God, it stopped raining on my way out when I had to unload my groceries. I hate shopping in bad weather! It makes grocery shopping that much worse.

I've been so paranoid, watching the news every day to see what's going on Oklahoma. It makes me scared for Charlie down there, but I know that the military would have places for their guys to go to stay safe. Now I'm scared to go down there to see him! Where the heck do I hide at inside of a hotel? I have no idea..but I'm there until the 5th and I hope things can at least calm down while I'm there. I'm so scared I'll get sucked up in a tornado and I'll never make it back home to see my beautiful babies :(. I'm just being way too scared right now.

I'm so sad that Oprah is all done! I know she has a network, but it's not the same as the Oprah Show. I loooved watching it every day! Her last episode today made me want to cry. I almost did, but I held it back lol.

Baby Ian is getting really chunky! He's only 2 months old and he's drinking 4-5 ounces every 3 hours. He's growing so fast it's crazy! I wish my babies wouldn't grow so fast, it seems like they don't stay little for very long. He has a ton of fat rolls now lol! I have to put baby powder in his neck rolls because he was getting raw skin in between them from being sweaty and then having his skin rub together. My poor handsome baby! And, he's got the fattest kissing cheeks that anyone could ask for! So perfect :).

It's almost 11 p.m. right now, and I'm really hoping to go to bed soon. I hate that my boys stay up so late because I'm tired around 7:00 and could head to bed at that time! I guess I'm use to it though, so it doesn't bother me as bad anymore.

Perfect day

Today was a pretty lazy, but nice day spent with my boys. Ian slept pretty well last night. He usually doesn't fall asleep until around midnight, but he slept until 7:00 am! I was so excited. I gave him a bottle, and then he actually fell back asleep. Since Peyton was still sleeping too, I got to go back to bed until about 10:00! I got some much needed sleep that I've been missing for the past couple months.

We just hung out at home most of the day. Me, Peyton, and Ian did a lot of snuggling and playing. Peyton's new nickname for Ian is 'potato'. He told me he calls him that because he is a couch potato! lol But I try to explain to him that Ian can't really do much else right now, but I guess that's Peyton's new nickname for his little brother haha.

We ate dinner at Grandma and Grandpa Loomis', and then we went over to their Great Grandma and Grandpa Loomis' to visit them. It was nice. We sat out in the backyard while Peyton played with his Aunt Savannah and Uncle Noah.

It was such a nice day, and now we're relaxing. I'm watching American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Glee!!!, and then 16 and pregnant later. I love Tuesday nights lol! I wish I could hear from Charlie tonight or some night soon, since they are suppose to have more privileged to call since they are in 'blue phase'. Well, if not, I'll see him June 1st!

Ice Cream!

Overall I feel like today was productive, and great. Woke up early (yeah, 9 is early when I get no sleep at night lol), and Early On came over. Ian seems to be doing good, but then again, it's hard for me to even know what good is right now. It's funny, because I try to think of what Peyton was doing when he was this little, and I can't even remember when he hit his milestones lol! I know he was walking at about 10 months, but that's about all I really remember. I'm not sure where Ian should be at right now, but I think he's doing fine. I just love him to pieces. I absolutely love when I hold him and he just stares at me without blinking. It's like he's thinking...'You're my mama' lol. OoOh how much I love him <3.

After Early On, I had a doctor's appointment and was only gone for a little while. I came home and just a little bit ago, me, Sam, her boyfriend Tony and his nephew Brayden, and little Ian and Peyton went out for some ice cream, and the two little boys played together. Of course Peyton took a couple licks of his, and then decided he wanted to eat mine. Of course...and I don't like kid spit, just so you know, even though he is my own child, I still don't like others spit lol! They both wiped out a few times on the cement and they both ended up with matching scrapes on their knees and legs. They are a crazy couple. Both of them are hyper..so it works out good :).

Hoping tomorrow is just as nice as today was. I really have no plans for the rest of the week, which is a first. I'm just hanging out at home with my babies, and hoping for good weather so we can get outside some more. I am just waiting, and waiting, and waiting to go down and see Charlie. I can't wait! He makes me so proud. He makes me proud to call him my husband, and that we have such a beautiful life together. Things can only keep getting better. He absolutely loves being in the army, so it makes me happy that he loves his 'job'.