Today was such a weird day. The weather was off and on all day long. It was muggy out, and it would rain periodically, and then the sun would shine sometimes. I want it to start getting nicer out so that I can maybe lay out and get some kind of tan before I go see Charlie graduate. I don't want to look pasty and ghost like lol. Looks like it's suppose to rain for awhile now...so I guess I might not be able to.
Hung out with my friend Sam today. It was a really nice being able to hang out with one of my friends. I don't get out much, but it was nice spending some time with another adult lol. Ian actually made it through the mall without screaming and what-not. I was pretty happy about that!
I'm so excited to go see Charlie graduate. I just want all of this to be done, and for us to be back together as a family. Just seems like things aren't going as planned back here at home by myself. I need him to be around to help me with the boys, and to give me moral support for certain things. ::sigh:: It's just really hard. I'll get through it, but he can't even come back until the end of July or beginning of August, and then if he gets deployed right away he's gone for 15 months. If he doesn't deploy for 6 months after he gets home, then we move out of state, and then he deploys later. It's so hard. It's an emotional roller coaster with Ian. I love him to death, but I'm so scared for his future. I cry a lot because I'm worried for him. I'm worried someone might make fun of him, or he won't be able to do things he wants to. I guess I'm just too worried...
Hopefully tomorrow is a much better day. I would like it to be nice out so we can play outside. Let's hope for that!
A long time ago I saw a poster that had a phrase on it that I try to focus on when I get worried... "If you're gonna worry, why pray? If you're gonna pray, why worry?" Life is hard Melissa. You and I both know that all too well. But the hard times are what make the good times seem that much better. When the craziness is over and the dust clears, you will appreciate Charlie and your family more than you ever could have had you not gone through these struggles. Lean on your friends, family, and God. We are all here for you. We love you. Have a beautiful weekend!
ReplyDeleteThat is really true Amanda. Sometimes it's hard to think of it that way, but I'm glad you wrote that to me. It was nice to hear that..I needed it :).
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