Ian's Story.

I don't even know where to start with this. I feel like by me writing this, I can express myself to my friends and family about how I've felt lately and what's been going on in my life. I feel like I'm always going and never getting to take a break. I want to write about how I feel about some things, whether people perceive them as good or bad.

Most of my life changing experiences took play on March 11, 2011. The day that my beautiful boy Ian was born. I remember being in labor for only a few hours and being so excited to meet my second precious baby. After having such a quick labor and being tired, and sick, I laid in the hospital bed just waiting to get a look at my little boy. Charlie got to hold him, and so did the rest of the family, and before I even got to look at him or hold him, the pediatrician came into the room. In a very quick and bad bed side manner, he told me that he was testing Ian for a chromosomal problem. He said that he had characteristics of Down Syndrome and he needed to be tested for it. THAT WAS IT! He left the room, and I kind of laid there thinking, What the heck did he say? Was he serious? He through those words at me like he said it everyday to people, like it was telling someone their child had the flu or something. Charlie wasn't even in the room at the time, and I thought about how he would feel about it. I remember when I finally saw Ian, I didn't think he looked like he had anything wrong with him. I kept staring at him, trying to figure it out. Wondering if he was fine, or if he really had Down Syndrome.

The next day, when I came to better, the pediatrician came back into the room, with Charlie present and re-told us what he had told me the day before. After he walked out of the room, Charlie just sat on the bed, and I went into the bathroom and shut the door, and cried. The doctor wasn't sure if he had it or not by looking at him, and the results were going to take a week to get back. I was a nervous wreck. I cried, every single day. I cried when I ate my lunch, I cried before I went to bed. I woke up at night and cried. It sounds awful, but you don't expect it to be you. Nobody ever thinks something could be wrong with THEIR child. I had an ultrasound every week since I was 20 weeks. I had a quad test and everything came back normal and that nothing could be wrong with him. He was suppose to be perfect!

I remember being so sad, and just staring at Ian, and wondering what was going on. After too much of me crying, Charlie finally told me that it was okay to cry, but that if he does have Down Syndrome, that he will be perfectly fine. He said we would love him no matter what because he is still our son, and God obviously believes that we can handle anything that comes with having our baby boy. Good or bad, he is our son. I thought that it was so awesome of Charlie to say that to me. I was afraid what he would think, I was afraid what others would think, and I was afraid of how people would treat Ian when he got older. So many thoughts went through my head as we sat in the hospital that week with Ian.

The entire time I was pregnant, I'd pray every night that we'd have a healthy baby. After Ian was born, I prayed that he wouldn't have Down Syndrome, and that he would be healthy. But now, I see that God gave him the way he is to me, because he is perfect.

I got the call from the doctor while I was at home. He said that yes, Ian does have the extra chromosome, now we have to set up multiple appointments to check his health. So many health issues can happen with a baby with Down Syndrome, and I just thought, he has Down Syndrome, and now he could have a ton of health issues? I was so confused and scared. I didn't know what would happen.

A month has went by since that long, scary week. I hold Ian, and I stare at him, and I think to myself that he could not get anymore beautiful. How perfect is he? He looks at me with his huge, beautiful eyes, and I think to myself, that no matter if he does have an extra chromosome, he is so amazing. God has given me this perfect baby, because he knew that myself and our family would love and take care of him no matter what. I no longer see him as having Down Syndrome. He is normal. He is perfect. He is Ian.

I prayed that entire time that Ian would be healthy, and God has answered all of my prayers. Yes, he may have Down Syndrome, but that doesn't mean that he isn't healthy. He has no heart problems, no thyroid problems, nothing. God gave me a healthy baby. He may even have a learning disability, but how many people in the world have learning disabilities? He is going to need extra time and patience for learning, but I will give him everything he needs to learn. He is going to be fine. In the end, no matter what happens, he is my precious baby, and he is a true miracle. Along with his big brother Peyton :).