Wonder where I should be at in life...at the moment.

Things have been good since Charlie has left with the army. Well, as good as it can get without him here I guess. Things could be way worse, it's just overwhelming to take on everything. The house, both kids, anything that comes our way. I'm glad I have family and friends here to support me, but it's hard to feel emotionally okay when a huge part of you is missing.

For a long time, I have found myself thinking that something was missing. I have a beautiful life. I love my husband, our boys, and everything that comes along with having a family. My biggest issue, and always has been, is knowing that I have a college degree, and sitting home and not doing what I want to do with it.

For a long time after I graduated I applied to every x-ray tech job I could find. Then, I started to feel upset and heart broken because I couldn't find anything. As time went on, me and Charlie got married, then I got pregnant for Ian, then right after we had Ian, Charlie had to leave 1 week after he was born. He's basically been gone ever since. I figured I was doing the right thing by staying at home with the boys and helping them grow. My mom always stayed home with me and my brother until we got into school, then she went to work. So, I guess it's a good thing, but for some reason, I really want to start working again. Not just any work, but being an x-ray tech, like I went to college for.

College was really rough for me. I was pregnant for Peyton when I found out I had made it into the radiology program. I was in and out of the hospital and missed class time and always had to make it up and catch back up. I was determined not to fail out of the program I worked so hard to get into. After I had Peyton, I would do homework all night while taking care of him. I did my internship while taking care of him, with the help of my family, and when I finally graduated, I realized there were really no jobs out there for me at the time. It was depressing, and still is today.

I guess I'm just feeling down about myself. I love being home with my kids, but I also worked my butt off to get that degree, and I want to use it. That was the purpose of me going to college...to help contribute financially, and be able to be happy going to work every day because it was something I loved doing. I started looking more recently for jobs in our area, since i'm stuck to this area because Charlie is deploying...and I have no real options. Detroit is not something I can do, and neither is Chicago. I am stuck.....but if I'm going to be stuck somewhere until something else happens, I guess I'm happy to say I'm stuck here with my family who is always supportive of me. I have to quit putting myself down because I haven't been able to do what I want work wise, and just be happy to already be done with college, and know that I have the opportunity, when it is presented, to go to work and have a good job.

It's been awhile...

I haven't gotten a chance to do much blogging lately, so I figured while I have a second today, I should make a new post!

Things around here are hectic since Charlie left for Afghanistan. I'm trying to handle things by myself, but it can be very difficult. He left in March, 1 week after Ian was born, and then came back for about a month and left again recently. So I've been alone pretty much for 2011. It's definitely been a hard year for me so far, but I'm getting use to things. I've been trying to stay positive about things, and not worry about other things if I don't really have to.

Both of the boys are doing great. Peyton started school this year and he absolutely loves it! He loves everything about it and can't get enough! Ian is doing so well at everything he tries. He's almost sitting up on his own, but he is almost crawling as well. He gets so upset and frustrated because he wants to get around himself, but he is almost there. He also is eating baby food, and people are always telling me how chunky he is, but I just like to think of it as 'healthy' lol. He has been keeping up with doctor's appointments and his heart appointments, and he has a healthy heart and is over-all a happy baby.

My biggest problem is dealing with myself. Everyone needs to work on self improvement I believe, so I just need to start and get it done. I've realized I don't have many people there for me anymore. And I don't mean to sound whiney, but I already know people go their seperate ways as they get older. I do have people there for emotional support, and mainly it's family and a few friends, but I need to learn that even though I may not even talk to anyone for an entire week, I can't get myself down. I need to realize that I'm just trying to get through this time alone until my husband comes back. It's a very, very lonely place, and I know a lot of women know what I'm talking about when their husband's leave. I'm trying to stay positive, and work on myself. I'm hoping to figure out things I like to do, such as hobbies, and although I'm always busy with the kids, I need to learn ways to keep myself busy doing things that I enjoy too. It needs to get done or else I'll be a pretty sad person for the next year.

Anyway, that's my goal for the next year. To just help my kids grow and learn, to be happy, and kind. To make myself happy as well, and not to rely on others to help make me feel happy. I do have a lot of good stuff going for me and my family, so I just need to be thankful for what we have...especially for being happy and healthy.

Happy Memorial Day!

I'm so thankful that today was such a beautiful day. It was at least 90 degrees for most of the day, and me and the boys took full advantage of that! Peyton and I played basketball in the yard while Ian slept in his swing on the porch. I can't wait until Ian gets bigger so we can all play together. Right now he's kind of just a lump on a log lol. My sweet little baby boy is turning into a chunky boy! I will have to weigh him some time soon. I'm sure he weighs 20 pounds...okay, not that much, but it feels like it haha.

After we hung out at home in the yard, we went over to my dad's for some dinner. He grilled out and made some burgers and hot dogs. We had potato salad, cheesy potatoes, asparagus, and I can't remember what else. I think my memory is going bad..and I'll just blame that on my children for driving me insane lol!

Well, I've been cleaning all day so that I don't have to come home from my vacation to a messy house. I got the rest of my packing done. The boys are packed up, and now I have all of my stuff done. I had some issues with my rental car today so I might just ride around with Charlie's parents when I get there. Oh well, it'll save me a little bit of money. It really puts a damper on your day when something as big as renting a car falls through, but oh well. Nothing can rain on my parade because I am going to see my husband! It's been months now, and I can't wait!

We took our tubby's and showers...and played a little bit. Ian layed in his crib naked so that he could dry off and get some cool air to his body because he was so hot all day! He layed in his crib and stared at his mobile. He loves to listen to it and watch it go around and around.

Then I asked Peyton to let me get a picture of him, but he kept running around Ian's room and laughing, sooo this is the best I could get lol!

What a great day with my sweet baby boys! Happy Memorial Day to everyone :).

One more day!

"Peyton Charles, I love you to Heaven". "Mama, I love you to the mall". LOL I guess it's not as far as Heaven, but I'll take it haha.

I'm going to miss my babies so much when I go on my 5 day vaca...it sure won't feel like a vacation when I don't have my precious little ones with me :(. Maybe I'll come back well rested and have more patience for my boys. We'll see. I have patience..but it's Peyton that can cause me to go insane lol! I'm sure once Ian gets to his age, he'll push my buttons too haha.

I had a really nice day today. I got a phone call from Charlie telling me happy anniversary, and then I went to my grandma and grandpa's for turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and corn on the cob. It was a nice dinner. We came home, hung out, cleaned, and packed. Now we're watching River Monsters! Peyton was eating some popcorn and dropped the popcorn and my bowl on the floor. The bowl broke and popcorn went everywhere! What a mess! Then he told me that he hid a popcorn kernel under one of my pillows in my room. Lol..one little kernel. Took me forever to find, but I did it!

Tomorrow is my last day home before I go see Charlie, and I'm getting excited!

So blah!

Well, I got to talk to Charlie tonight for a little bit. He's getting excited for me and his family to come down and see him. It's kind of settling in that I'm leaving for Oklahoma here in a few days, and I don't know what I feel. I'm happy to see him..and that's all I'm happy for lol. I do NOT want to go down with the bad weather, and I do NOT want to leave my children. I'm so distraught over being away from my babies while I'm gone :(. I've already started being upset and even cried a few nights thinking that I could leave and have something happen to me. Just thinking about not coming home to my precious boys makes me sick to my stomach. I know I shouldn't worry so much, but I do. I think that everything bad could happen to me. My plane could crash, I could get killed by a tornado, or something else, I'm sure I'll think of more things as Tuesday comes closer lol! :( :( :( I'm having really bad anxiety over this whole thing. I don't even like leaving them just because I NEED to be with them every second of every day. I just want to cry. I'll probably cry at night when I'm alone in my hotel room without my babies too. Okay...enough of this lol but I'm NOT looking forward to leaving them.

Another things that's annoying, I was in a size 3 before I had Ian..and now I'm into a size 5 or 7. It's not even like I gained any weight, but it's like my hips just keep getting wider lol. They got wide after I had Peyton, but now they're wider after I had Ian. I'm tiny with big hips. Not good..and I don't fit into any pants well. I'm just really frustrated right now. No, a 5 or 7 isn't big, but it's different from where I was, which means I can't fit into anything I already have. Sooo irritating! Oh, and I need a tan lol.

I'm just hoping the boys will sleep well tonight, and maybe go to bed early. I'm so emotional over nothing it seems like, but I need to go to bed. It's just one of those days, I think. It just seems like things just keep repeating themselves, good and bad, but nothing exciting ever happens. It's just a daily thing of the same ole stuff. I love how bright my children make every day for me, but you get what I'm saying!

So tired!

I can't believe how cool it was here in Muskegon today. It's like we have really hot days, and then cold days like today. I had to run to the grocery store and get some groceries today, and it rained on the way there, but thank God, it stopped raining on my way out when I had to unload my groceries. I hate shopping in bad weather! It makes grocery shopping that much worse.

I've been so paranoid, watching the news every day to see what's going on Oklahoma. It makes me scared for Charlie down there, but I know that the military would have places for their guys to go to stay safe. Now I'm scared to go down there to see him! Where the heck do I hide at inside of a hotel? I have no idea..but I'm there until the 5th and I hope things can at least calm down while I'm there. I'm so scared I'll get sucked up in a tornado and I'll never make it back home to see my beautiful babies :(. I'm just being way too scared right now.

I'm so sad that Oprah is all done! I know she has a network, but it's not the same as the Oprah Show. I loooved watching it every day! Her last episode today made me want to cry. I almost did, but I held it back lol.

Baby Ian is getting really chunky! He's only 2 months old and he's drinking 4-5 ounces every 3 hours. He's growing so fast it's crazy! I wish my babies wouldn't grow so fast, it seems like they don't stay little for very long. He has a ton of fat rolls now lol! I have to put baby powder in his neck rolls because he was getting raw skin in between them from being sweaty and then having his skin rub together. My poor handsome baby! And, he's got the fattest kissing cheeks that anyone could ask for! So perfect :).

It's almost 11 p.m. right now, and I'm really hoping to go to bed soon. I hate that my boys stay up so late because I'm tired around 7:00 and could head to bed at that time! I guess I'm use to it though, so it doesn't bother me as bad anymore.

Perfect day

Today was a pretty lazy, but nice day spent with my boys. Ian slept pretty well last night. He usually doesn't fall asleep until around midnight, but he slept until 7:00 am! I was so excited. I gave him a bottle, and then he actually fell back asleep. Since Peyton was still sleeping too, I got to go back to bed until about 10:00! I got some much needed sleep that I've been missing for the past couple months.

We just hung out at home most of the day. Me, Peyton, and Ian did a lot of snuggling and playing. Peyton's new nickname for Ian is 'potato'. He told me he calls him that because he is a couch potato! lol But I try to explain to him that Ian can't really do much else right now, but I guess that's Peyton's new nickname for his little brother haha.

We ate dinner at Grandma and Grandpa Loomis', and then we went over to their Great Grandma and Grandpa Loomis' to visit them. It was nice. We sat out in the backyard while Peyton played with his Aunt Savannah and Uncle Noah.

It was such a nice day, and now we're relaxing. I'm watching American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Glee!!!, and then 16 and pregnant later. I love Tuesday nights lol! I wish I could hear from Charlie tonight or some night soon, since they are suppose to have more privileged to call since they are in 'blue phase'. Well, if not, I'll see him June 1st!

Ice Cream!

Overall I feel like today was productive, and great. Woke up early (yeah, 9 is early when I get no sleep at night lol), and Early On came over. Ian seems to be doing good, but then again, it's hard for me to even know what good is right now. It's funny, because I try to think of what Peyton was doing when he was this little, and I can't even remember when he hit his milestones lol! I know he was walking at about 10 months, but that's about all I really remember. I'm not sure where Ian should be at right now, but I think he's doing fine. I just love him to pieces. I absolutely love when I hold him and he just stares at me without blinking. It's like he's thinking...'You're my mama' lol. OoOh how much I love him <3.

After Early On, I had a doctor's appointment and was only gone for a little while. I came home and just a little bit ago, me, Sam, her boyfriend Tony and his nephew Brayden, and little Ian and Peyton went out for some ice cream, and the two little boys played together. Of course Peyton took a couple licks of his, and then decided he wanted to eat mine. Of course...and I don't like kid spit, just so you know, even though he is my own child, I still don't like others spit lol! They both wiped out a few times on the cement and they both ended up with matching scrapes on their knees and legs. They are a crazy couple. Both of them are hyper..so it works out good :).

Hoping tomorrow is just as nice as today was. I really have no plans for the rest of the week, which is a first. I'm just hanging out at home with my babies, and hoping for good weather so we can get outside some more. I am just waiting, and waiting, and waiting to go down and see Charlie. I can't wait! He makes me so proud. He makes me proud to call him my husband, and that we have such a beautiful life together. Things can only keep getting better. He absolutely loves being in the army, so it makes me happy that he loves his 'job'.

Scary weather!

So it's a little after 11:30 tonight and my boys just fell asleep. Well, I finally just layed Ian down and I'm hoping he'll fall asleep. That little guy would stay awake all night if I'd let him. Usually he just fusses for a tiny bit and then realizes he's tired, and then he falls asleep lol.

I hate being home alone all of the time. Yes, I get lonely with just the boys here, but I also hate when we gets any kind of storm. Anytime I know the weather is going to be bad, I can't fall asleep. If there are high winds or something that scares me too bad, I won't go to bed, just in case I need to drive to my dad's house. We don't have a basement, so I'm always wanting to stay on top of things in case something bad were to come our way. Hopefully tonight nothing bad will happen. We seem to be getting a lot of crappy weather lately. I guess I'd rather take crappy over disastrous weather though. Even still, hearing the storms scares the crap out of me here by myself.

I talked to Charlie tonight, thank God. I just needed to talk to him and tell him about stuff going on around here. Not only that, but I can't wait to see him and be with him again. I can't wait to go down and see him in Oklahoma :). I'll be paranoid of bad weather while I'm there too lol.

Well, I guess I better go. I need to go watch the weather and make sure nothing crazy is going on. Goodnight!

Today..

Today was actually a nice day. Of course, the world was suppose to end at 6:00, but I must have survived it lol!

Woke up early this morning to make sure I got  a head start on getting ready for my day. I had a wedding shower for Casey and Rocky at 1:00, and it literally takes me hours to get ready! Between showering, and packing up and feeding both kids, it can be quite a task! It was so humid out though. I really shouldn't have even done my hair since it started to get all frizzy.

The wedding shower was a lot of fun, and it's always nice to be able to get together with family. The food was amazing, and it was nice to hang out with everyone. Overall it was a nice time :).

I got home and stopped at my parent's house, and we ate a really nice dinner. Chicken, fresh asparagus, and au gratin potatoes! It was so yummy. I hung out over there for awhile tonight, and then came home, played a card game with Peyton, and now I'm hoping he'll fall asleep. Hopefully I can feed Ian his bottle and he'll be out too! In the mean time, I'm watching extreme couponing..makes me want to get in on that action. I can't believe some of those ladies and how much they save! Insane! I'm happy to save a buck or two on an item when I go to the store lol!

Tomorrow night I am suppose to hear from Charlie, and it will make me extremely happy to be able to talk to him. I miss him way too much. I know it's getting closer and closer to me going and seeing him in Oklahoma, and then after that, that means we're that much closer to him coming home to us! We love him and miss him so much, and I know Peyton can't wait to see him again! Hopefully tomorrow will be a nice day as well. I could use as many nice days as I can get.

Take one, two, three, four....

Today was a very nice day overall. It was nice outside for most of the day, and my boys and I got to go hang out with our friend Yvonne. Peyton played with all the kids, and looked at the horses, and a baby calf! It was nice to have some adult time too. I never really get adult time, so it was good to talk to someone other than a child lol!

I wanted to take some pictures of the two boys together, but it is so hard to get them in the same picture. Either Ian isn't looking at the camera, or Peyton won't behave. I guess the pictures are still cute, but here's the pictures lol!

And then..finally. We got one right lol! It's the best we could get, but it looks pretty good. I love my little boys :).

Counting down to see Charlie...

Today was such a weird day. The weather was off and on all day long. It was muggy out, and it would rain periodically, and then the sun would shine sometimes. I want it to start getting nicer out so that I can maybe lay out and get some kind of tan before I go see Charlie graduate. I don't want to look pasty and ghost like lol. Looks like it's suppose to rain for awhile now...so I guess I might not be able to.

Hung out with my friend Sam today. It was a really nice being able to hang out with one of my friends. I don't get out much, but it was nice spending some time with another adult lol. Ian actually made it through the mall without screaming and what-not. I was pretty happy about that!

I'm so excited to go see Charlie graduate. I just want all of this to be done, and for us to be back together as a family. Just seems like things aren't going as planned back here at home by myself. I need him to be around to help me with the boys, and to give me moral support for certain things. ::sigh:: It's just really hard. I'll get through it, but he can't even come back until the end of July or beginning of August, and then if he gets deployed right away he's gone for 15 months. If he doesn't deploy for 6 months after he gets home, then we move out of state, and then he deploys later. It's so hard. It's an emotional roller coaster with Ian. I love him to death, but I'm so scared for his future. I cry a lot because I'm worried for him. I'm worried someone might make fun of him, or he won't be able to do things he wants to. I guess I'm just too worried...

Hopefully tomorrow is a much better day. I would like it to be nice out so we can play outside. Let's hope for that!

What a Day...

I would love to fill in my title with words like 'good', 'happy', or even 'awful'..but today was just a 'blah' day. Nothing to do, and nowhere that I had to be.  I guess that's good, but some parts of it were awful. On top of that, it's midnight, and my kids both just went to sleep, leaving me really tired, but thankful for a second to myself.

I was going to go to the park today with a friend so that Peyton could play, but the weather was so off and on, I didn't know whether it was going to rain some more, or get any colder. I didn't want to take Ian out in that, with him being so little and everything.

So we hung out at home, played inside and watched some t.v. My dad came over and helped me in my yard, and then me and Peyton ate some spaghetti and garlic bread. Well, I did. He took one look at it and said 'yuck, I'm not touching that stuff'. So, I ate alone, while Peyton yelled from him room, just to be loud, and Ian screamed in the background, for no reason. Peyton likes to always be pushing my buttons, and Ian likes to scream anytime I'm not holding him. I think they have some sort of plan together..to drive mama crazy lol.

Later I stopped over at my grandma and grandpa's just to visit. Sometimes it's nice to get out of the house, even if it's just for a little bit.I checked the ads for coupons, but of course I found none that would be useful to me. I talked to them for a little while while Peyton did some puzzles and my grandma played with Ian. We came home a couple hours later and watched American Idol!

I've been trying to get the boys to fall asleep since about 9:00...and neither of them were having it. I got into an argument with a family member, which is never good. Over something that shouldn't ruin family bonds..I'm sure things will be fine, but it's sad. It hurts me to do that...

Anyway, I've had a 'blah' day, and I'm ready to hit the hay. Going to spend some time with one of my best friends tomorrow..us and my babies. Should be a nice day. Goodnight!

...

Today started out a bit rough, but definitely got better as the night went on.

I had an issue with our cell phone place. Too make a really long story short, I paid on my husband's cell phone a couple weeks ago for the upcoming month in advance, and it never went through. They had receipts and so did I, but they said it never went to the 'big' office. They were going to make me pay again! I was so upset. Anyway, they fixed it after a couple trips to the store and some phone calls.

Good thing I got the problem fixed because Charlie called me tonight from his base and said he is going out into the fields until Sunday and not coming back to his base until then. I'll be able to talk to him Sunday, but I'm glad I didn't miss his phone call due to the cell phone problem. It's so nice to hear from him. I feel crazy all day long here by myself with our children, so it makes me feel good about everything when I hear his voice.

Tomorrow I am going to the park with a friend of the family to let Peyton play. Hopefully it is nice out, and any rain can hold off until later at night.

I watch Glee all of the time, and I am a huge 'gleek'! I love the show so much, but I now love it even more because of Becky. She is such an awesome role model and spokesperson for all people with Down Syndrome. It makes me happy to see her on the show. Tonight, I cried at the end! To see Jane Lynch play a role where her sister was her best friend, and also a person with DS, it kind of touched my heart in different ways. I love what Glee is doing for all who have DS and for their family and friends!

I'm hoping my two boys will be hitting the hay soon, but I'm sure that won't happen for about, another hour. I'm so tired today for some reason. Actually, I'm tired the second I wake up in the morning lol! Hoping for another great day tomorrow :).

What A Great Day.

Today has been such a great day. It hasn't been too hot, but it's cool enough that Peyton doesn't want to go outside and play. Ian had his Early On therapy session today, and that went really well. I'm so proud of Ian for being such a strong little boy. He surprises me every single day!

We've been working on different things to help his motor skills. Even though he is only 2 months old, I hope that working with him early will help to make things easier for him. Right now he doesn't do too much, but he does seem to be progressing. He will pick his head up when laying on his tummy, or when I'm burping him. He will roll onto his back off of his stomach or side, and he's grabbing things and kicking his little legs all of the time. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it makes me happy :).

Those are all pictures of my handsome little Ian..some of him working hard to lift up his head, and others of him just hanging out :). And his big brother Peyton loves playing with him so much! I can't wait for Ian to get big enough to play along with him.

I definitely have the best boys in the world, and they have the best dad in the world. He is also my husband and best friend! He is currently gone right now in the military, but he will be back home in August.

There is my husband, and Peyton when he was a teeny tiny baby. I need to find a more recent picture lol! I'm glad to be a part of the blogging family now!

Ian's Story.

I don't even know where to start with this. I feel like by me writing this, I can express myself to my friends and family about how I've felt lately and what's been going on in my life. I feel like I'm always going and never getting to take a break. I want to write about how I feel about some things, whether people perceive them as good or bad.

Most of my life changing experiences took play on March 11, 2011. The day that my beautiful boy Ian was born. I remember being in labor for only a few hours and being so excited to meet my second precious baby. After having such a quick labor and being tired, and sick, I laid in the hospital bed just waiting to get a look at my little boy. Charlie got to hold him, and so did the rest of the family, and before I even got to look at him or hold him, the pediatrician came into the room. In a very quick and bad bed side manner, he told me that he was testing Ian for a chromosomal problem. He said that he had characteristics of Down Syndrome and he needed to be tested for it. THAT WAS IT! He left the room, and I kind of laid there thinking, What the heck did he say? Was he serious? He through those words at me like he said it everyday to people, like it was telling someone their child had the flu or something. Charlie wasn't even in the room at the time, and I thought about how he would feel about it. I remember when I finally saw Ian, I didn't think he looked like he had anything wrong with him. I kept staring at him, trying to figure it out. Wondering if he was fine, or if he really had Down Syndrome.

The next day, when I came to better, the pediatrician came back into the room, with Charlie present and re-told us what he had told me the day before. After he walked out of the room, Charlie just sat on the bed, and I went into the bathroom and shut the door, and cried. The doctor wasn't sure if he had it or not by looking at him, and the results were going to take a week to get back. I was a nervous wreck. I cried, every single day. I cried when I ate my lunch, I cried before I went to bed. I woke up at night and cried. It sounds awful, but you don't expect it to be you. Nobody ever thinks something could be wrong with THEIR child. I had an ultrasound every week since I was 20 weeks. I had a quad test and everything came back normal and that nothing could be wrong with him. He was suppose to be perfect!

I remember being so sad, and just staring at Ian, and wondering what was going on. After too much of me crying, Charlie finally told me that it was okay to cry, but that if he does have Down Syndrome, that he will be perfectly fine. He said we would love him no matter what because he is still our son, and God obviously believes that we can handle anything that comes with having our baby boy. Good or bad, he is our son. I thought that it was so awesome of Charlie to say that to me. I was afraid what he would think, I was afraid what others would think, and I was afraid of how people would treat Ian when he got older. So many thoughts went through my head as we sat in the hospital that week with Ian.

The entire time I was pregnant, I'd pray every night that we'd have a healthy baby. After Ian was born, I prayed that he wouldn't have Down Syndrome, and that he would be healthy. But now, I see that God gave him the way he is to me, because he is perfect.

I got the call from the doctor while I was at home. He said that yes, Ian does have the extra chromosome, now we have to set up multiple appointments to check his health. So many health issues can happen with a baby with Down Syndrome, and I just thought, he has Down Syndrome, and now he could have a ton of health issues? I was so confused and scared. I didn't know what would happen.

A month has went by since that long, scary week. I hold Ian, and I stare at him, and I think to myself that he could not get anymore beautiful. How perfect is he? He looks at me with his huge, beautiful eyes, and I think to myself, that no matter if he does have an extra chromosome, he is so amazing. God has given me this perfect baby, because he knew that myself and our family would love and take care of him no matter what. I no longer see him as having Down Syndrome. He is normal. He is perfect. He is Ian.

I prayed that entire time that Ian would be healthy, and God has answered all of my prayers. Yes, he may have Down Syndrome, but that doesn't mean that he isn't healthy. He has no heart problems, no thyroid problems, nothing. God gave me a healthy baby. He may even have a learning disability, but how many people in the world have learning disabilities? He is going to need extra time and patience for learning, but I will give him everything he needs to learn. He is going to be fine. In the end, no matter what happens, he is my precious baby, and he is a true miracle. Along with his big brother Peyton :).